P e r s o n a l B l o g/T w i t t e r . : : . W r i t i n g B l o g/T w i t t e r

Girl Talk Thursday: If you could be famous for anything, what would it be?

Hmm, I'm going to forgo the obvious answer of writer in favor of something - well - silly.

If I were going to be famous for anything - other than writing - I would want to be, are you ready for it?

You sure you're ready?

Because if you aren't, I'll wait for you to get safely buckled in with all the appropriate protection because this is going to be a bumpy ride.

Okay.  Here goes.

I would be
The Roach Hunter

Please note the very heroic stance and the cape.  All very important for being a famous roach hunter.
I think that my unique experiences with a wide variety of cockroaches invading my personal space, makes me specially equipped to hunt them under extraordinary circumstances and in creative, new ways.  Now, my default fall back is always a full can of Raid - but do you know the athletic ability it takes to leap coffee tables and move furnature to get to your prey?  It's a lot of work!  I'd reason to believe that my Roach Hunting is as exciting as crab fishing in the artic.  Fer serials, it gets that real.

And when I'm without my trusty can'o'Raid, I'm not affraid to go a little old school.

I've used flipflops to stun my prey and dispose of them.

Not unheard of is the instance where I used a steak knife to defend myself against a flying cockroach that attempted to steal my dinner.  This is one lesson those roaches should learn and learn well; don't mess with my Dr Pepper - or my food.  Because I will cut you.

I'm not even against using house hold appliances.  When I was beset with the six inch hissing cockroaches I was involved in a high speed chase where the suspect took refuge in the drain of the kitchen sink.  Unfortunately the suspect didn't heed the garbage disposal sign.  Yeah.  And you just thought shot glasses were the only unfortunate mishaps involved with the dishwasher!

Also, there have been a few instances when the roaches decided to scale the wall or sneak attack me from the ceiling.  All of these have lead to me honing my skills and instincts to a fine point so that at any hour or day I am prepared to take up the great hunt for my prey.
 They only thought I was sleeping!!!!

So you see, I think that this skill has plenty of potential for pop entertainment.  Who wouldn't want to watch a little cockroach squishing action?

2 thoughts:

Linda Marie Dershem said...

What a fantabulous post! Hilarious! Towards the end, I was picturing you ably assassinating your foe Kill Bill style. LOL!

Jessica said...

You are awesome. End of story.

About Me

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Grew up traveling to rodeos with my parents. I've gone across the world thanks to my gypsie feet. I feel sometimes like I've done everything & nothing. I've played roller derby, traveled parts of the world, have four degrees. I've done some things most people will never do in their lives & still I want to do more. I want to work with orphans & teenagers again. I'm a Christian. I have a lot of tattoos. I like art therefore I want to be art. I love people. I started writing years ago when I was a kid. I think at the time it was an outlet for me; I found escape in my word & the worlds I created. Eventually I just started to like creating stuff & that's when I started sharing it with other people. Now I think I write every day. I want to do NaNoWrMo this year. I'm also learning how to knit. I think I'm on my way to being an eccentric old woman who runs around the world doing silly cazy things and knitting while she does them. Be on your guard I have knitting needles!

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