Okay, so my friend Erin took pictures of me this last week.  She's amazing and we had such a fun time! I highly suggest working with her if you're in need of pictures.  Here are a few that she's sent me. I can't wait for the rest!

I know I'm feeling like butter spread over too much bread.  I think it has to do with just everything that's happened the last few weeks.  I've surrounded myself with awesome people who I really do love - yes, I love you guys - but I think it's all making me go crazy.  I'm having a writing dilemma, where I pull my hair out and scream, "This is utter crap!" at my laptop.  In fact, I know that when I prop the situations and plots in the novel to people, they think it's great, and I know my writing isn't that bad.  No, I'm not amazing, but I'm a far cry from bad.

However, with loads of Stuff flying around my head these last few weeks, I think what I really need to do is shut people out for a few days.  Oh, email and twitter and all that don't count, but I think I need to spend some alone time.  Maybe go hang out somewhere, get away and write or veg or something.

I wrote the above several days ago.  I was going to scrap it but decided against it because they were and probably to some extent are my genuine feelings. I sort of boomerang around at times with emotions.  I'm crazy like that.  I probably do need to step back from actively trying to be so social and focus on writing a bit more, but I'm enjoying myself.  And you know what?  I'm happy.  This time last year I was so very depressed.  I couldn't fool myself but I fooled everyone around me and the truth was: I was miserable.  But I'm not anymore.  Yes, I'm occasionally cranky, and poor Alicia has to handle my sometimes severe mood swings and the occasional very serious need to clean.... I think I will forever pity anyone who thinks they want to room with me. 

Yes, the last few weeks have gone from one extreme to the other, but ya know what? I'm okay.  I can handle myself.  I wonder if I could handle everything going on right now as well as I'm doing - were I still in high school?

So in completely other news, here's something so funny you might pee your pants.

This is going to be short and to the point.  I'm currently working on an anthology submission that needs to be in ASAP.  When I grow up, when that day happens. I want to be a writer and a destination travel journalist so I can travel places and write about them, and then write my other stuff.  That's it.  Boring.  Simple.  And to the point because, well, I still need to proof my submission for the 10th time.

Yes, I really am.  I'm going to blog about stuff.

....Hmmmm, what should I say?

Well this weekend was one huge long social function.  Friday is somewhat of a blur.  I think there was tv watching and writing and hanging out with Alicia.  I think.  Like I said, Friday is somewhat fuzzy.

Saturday was one huge circus.  I was up early and drove to Cleburne to drop off a check and then to my parents house.  My sister and her boyfriend were there - which was a surprise.  We spent the day doing stuff around the house and talking.  My sister also thought it was okay to punch me.  She didn't like it when I punched back.  She didn't like it when I restrained her from escalating the situation further.  After a long, exhausting day at my family's place, I couldn't decide what to do when I left.

I knew there was a Supernatural marathon going on at my place.  I also knew I wasn't in the best mood to be social and watch a show I don't particularly like or dislike.  I made a weak effort to go do something else but wound up at my place piddling around on my laptop and listening to Supernatural and needling some of the girls  :P

Eventually I went to bed.  Only to wake up and .... they're still there! And Supernatural is still on!  LOL

Sunday is Crafty Day so that means it was just more people in and out of the apartment.  It's funny how Crafty Day has sort of.... become movie day.  We watched both Boondock Saints movies and started season 1 of Dexter.  It was a grand finish to a long weekend.

I now need to ensure that I bury myself in The Cave for several solo hours at some point or else I might turn into Evilness.  This is the problem with being both extroverted and introverted.

Okay, I'm sorry about being MIA for the last like.... 48 hours.

To sum it all up quickly: Dad is at home! Hurray!

Tuesday we thought we were going to do a meet with the cardiologist and hopefully squeeze in the test Tuesday so they could evaluate it Wednesday and if we were lucky send him home Wednesday night.  Cardiologist walks in and says that there's no reason to run the test.  They already know from his other tests what it's going to say and there's no reason wasting money and time to quadruple check.  So my mom takes him home!  It was all very exciting.

So far the new pills are working just fine.  His normal doctor yesterday said that the blood thinners are working just fine and his blood pressure is normal for when he's not on the meds - which basically is really good news, though I don't 100% understand it all right now.  Sleep deprivation and all that.

Thanks everyone who has been so supportive during this whole ordeal! It's been crazy and one heck of a wild ride.  Maybe now I'll get some sleep.... Or read a book..... Or get caught up on writing....

Hm, this one isn't so hard.  I would list off a bunch of historical places, Greece, Rome, Italy, the UK, China, Japan, South Africa, Egypt, Argentina, one of the Poles, some islands and detail all the really cool experiences I would love to do - but I think we would all do just that.

So I'm going to look at this from a different perspective.

I love books.  In fact, I like to pretend I'm a writer.  When I day-dream, I don't think about places I could fly to, I dream of the places that are cut from the things dreams are made of.  If I were going to take a Dream Vacation, well, lets list off the places I would want to visit!

Steampunk.  All that fashion!  The corsets, the parasols, the goggles!  And not to mention vampires, werewolves and ghosts!  If I could vacation in Gail Carriger's London, England I would have to take a tour of the BUR offices wearing the latest fashion of dress and sport the all important, silver tipped parasol.  After all, a lady never knows when she will need to protect herself and parasols are very handy things to have around!  Now, it probably wouldn't be allowed, but actually going into a hive or a den would be superb or even tea with the queen, hmm, how pleasant that could be!


I will probably always be something of a sucker for stories that are girl-and-her-horse.  Add in that the horse is magical and intelligent, and - take me there!  I very well might take a one-way-ticket to dream land if it meant I got to stay in Valdemar.  Seriously.  Magic.  Heralds.  Companions (the horses).  Yes, I'd wear white or gray if I had to, I really wouldn't mind - even if I would just look ever so pale.  There probably isn't a lot about the country of Valdemar that would be captivating if it weren't for the sentinels, the Heralds who are bound to their Companions to meet or see.  That I would want to see or do a stint as.  Of course they have some very colorful neighbors I would have to visit.  The tree people and the horse people of the plains are fascinating as far as people groups and would need a visitation.

Okay, so yes, it's just New Orleans, but New Orleans plus vampires?  Yes please.  It's not so much the setting as the company that would push me to go to New Orleans.  Vampires have of course been around for ages but they cannot make new vampires, until recently - oh my... I think I'd like an evening with a vampire, drink some wine, ask lots of questions, learn about history - that sort of thing.  I mean, who better to ask about history than someone who has lived it?  That and they tend to be rather handsome.  I can pick one dream vacation that's nothing but self-indulgent, right?  Shut up, you'd do it too!

Okay, so more horse-and-her-girl vacationing.  It's the desert, yes, but it's also home to these amazing horses! You ride with no bridle, so you have your hands free to do stuff, like read or swing a sword.  It's all riding with your legs and weight - which is how good riders ride anyways - but the issue is often with the horse.  It would also be neat to see the Lamprun Trials where the head of the evil old dragon made a flat tabletop so long ago, and the royal palace, which always sounded interesting to me.  The royals have a tendency for magic so why not? Magic and horses and swords? Sign me up! When am I leaving? And can I take two carry ons?



Again, set in a fairly normal, boring place - but what if the world around you were alive with gods and myths?  I'd like to take a trip to Camp Half Blood and see what it's like to train with Chiron and the others.  I have to say I'm partial to hellhounds and pegasus.  If I've ever wanted to write fan fic, it might be to appease the inner kid in me that wants to see things behind my desk or under my bed.  Give me a dream vacation spot where I can recline and drink nectar and eat ambrosia while listening to nymphs and satyrs singing and playing music?  Where I could jump in the ocean and go see an underwater city?  Who wouldn't want that sort of vacation!  It totally beats Disney World - which I actually don't remember.


Lastly, I'd want to visit the kingdom of the God King.  Tropical and colorful, there was so much about the setting that made me want to dream about living there.  A magic system that's so unknown and flexible that it bends to your will?  Much of their power comes from colors and your very Breath gives you power to animate objects and do stuff.  A very intriguing destination would be the Court of the Gods.  Where can you go in today's world and  talk to an in-the-flesh god?  I would do it for curiosity's sake.

And I've run out of steam.  There are six Dream Destinations I would visit - if they ever existed beyond my imagination.

Telemetry, which to my ears sounds like taxidermy.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need sleep, right?

I left the hospital last night and went home with the intention of going to bed. I read. you can imagine how well I am today after yet another night spent mostly not sleeping.  I apparently want to be the next person in need of medical attention.

There wasn't much change to my dad's state during the day.  A few tests were run but they were still saying that he would probably get released this evening.  Mid-afternoon I was requested to come back up to the hospital so I gathered up my work things and here I am!

Sonograms are good for things other than seeing little gray blobs that might be a baby swimming in a woman's stomach.  You can also watch blood vessels as they pump away.  There's something not right about one of the vessels that runs up the back of my dad's brain; there are two main ones back there and it's not abnormal for a person to have an underdeveloped one.  So at first they didn't think it was that big of a deal but then the doctor saw a bit of brightness.  Brightness in darkness apparently on these things is a bad thing.

In short, it looks like there is a blood clot in my dad's brain that could have caused some damage in the rest of his vessels that they previously decided was normal wear and tear. 

*Insert Cid Freaking Out Silently While Smiling As If Nothing Is Wrong*

The doctor informs us that this is not major.  That there is absolutly nothing to worry about.

Ya-huh, you just told me there's a freaking bomb in my dad's head, that's what it sounds like!

*Cid is still calm, cool and collected*

They say he doesn't necessarily even need treatment after some things they're going to do here.  However, they could put him on Coumadin.  This is something like a treatment and way of life.  I don't fully understand right now but it would make my dad something of a free-bleeder.  This sounds really bad to me. Why? Because my dad is still very active.  He rides horses, he handles cattle, he wields knives and guns and does stuff that could cause bruises or cuts to happen - which could make him bleed to death under the wrong circumstances.  Right now we're discussing what to do next.  Still have a smile on my face, things are going to be okay, but I'm a little freaked out right now.

It's 9pm and I just sat down on my couch with my last cupcake and a Dr Pepper.  I'm so exhausted I'm too tired to sleep.  In the last nine hours our plans changed completely.  Originally I was going to go home after we grabbed lunch but then we decided after hearing that since the tests were all coming back either 100% positive or inconclusive they are most likely going to be sending him home tomorrow - that there was no reason whatsoever for me to stay the night at the hospital.

While on one hand I want to be there for my dad, I also know I won't sleep at the hospital. I've had maybe an hours total sleep in the last 24 hours, most of which was done in 10-15 minute spurts when I nodded off in some superly uncomfortable position.

We were finally moved to what I call the taxidermy level, but I think it's actually called taxonomy. I don't know what that means, but it's a Level 2 - and the lower level you are the closer to getting home you become, so this is great!  We've been able to bring in pie and soup from non-hospital places for him and he's drank some Dr Pepper and was asking for a snickers.  He's even up and moving around and they cleared him to be mobile without supervision so he can get up and sit in the super comfy recliner and shower and stuff like that.  This is all really GOOD!

Everyone is exhausted, so I left a bit ago to come home and shower and sleep.  So what am I doing here? This doesn't look like sleeping to me!

I think hospitals want to discourage people from visiting.  The whole place is freezing.  The chairs are uncomfortable, and if you thought they were uncomfortable, wait until you try to sleep in them.  They're worse.

So far I slept for about fifteen minutes laying on the floor.  I put my head down on the doctors desk in my dads room and slept for another fifteen to twenty minutes.  And then I got smart and pushed chairs together in the waiting room! (The floor was too cold by this point) I've been dozing for about an hour and a half - and it is not pleasant.  I feel worse than when I tried to sleep in the first place! And super intelligent me forgot her contact case and glasses back at the apartment.  Genius I tell you!

At 8am, we know nothing more other than they want to move him to the second floor, which is called something like taxidermy, but not.  They aren't going to be stuffing my dad to get rid of his problems!  We're on the Nuro ICU floor now; they moved him here first because it's the worst-case-scenario-best-place-to-be. But he's not worst-case-scenario, he's best-case-scenario, so we get to go to taxidermy!  But not yet.  It's 8am and I'm bleary eyed and just getting the feeling back into my toes.

My mom got here around 3am and is currently sawing logs like no one's business, but she probably cycled several hundred miles yesterday so she really deserves some sleep.

10am now.  Dad is in having an MRI and MRA right now.  We have been informed that he won't be going home until Tuesday and that because of his preexisting heart condition there is some serious risk of bleeding and other heart complications.  However, he seems to be doing really great so even though there are some new concerns and stuff he's going to need to be tested and kept on watch for we're staying positive.

Noon!  We think he's had the MRI and MRA....  Just got to watch him have an ultrasound on his neck.  That was kinda cool.  Making plans for the next few days so that either my mom or I are here and making provisions so I can work from the hospital.  About to head home for more necessities and then come straight back!