Okay, so my friend Erin took pictures of me this last week.  She's amazing and we had such a fun time! I highly suggest working with her if you're in need of pictures.  Here are a few that she's sent me. I can't wait for the rest!

I know I'm feeling like butter spread over too much bread.  I think it has to do with just everything that's happened the last few weeks.  I've surrounded myself with awesome people who I really do love - yes, I love you guys - but I think it's all making me go crazy.  I'm having a writing dilemma, where I pull my hair out and scream, "This is utter crap!" at my laptop.  In fact, I know that when I prop the situations and plots in the novel to people, they think it's great, and I know my writing isn't that bad.  No, I'm not amazing, but I'm a far cry from bad.

However, with loads of Stuff flying around my head these last few weeks, I think what I really need to do is shut people out for a few days.  Oh, email and twitter and all that don't count, but I think I need to spend some alone time.  Maybe go hang out somewhere, get away and write or veg or something.

I wrote the above several days ago.  I was going to scrap it but decided against it because they were and probably to some extent are my genuine feelings. I sort of boomerang around at times with emotions.  I'm crazy like that.  I probably do need to step back from actively trying to be so social and focus on writing a bit more, but I'm enjoying myself.  And you know what?  I'm happy.  This time last year I was so very depressed.  I couldn't fool myself but I fooled everyone around me and the truth was: I was miserable.  But I'm not anymore.  Yes, I'm occasionally cranky, and poor Alicia has to handle my sometimes severe mood swings and the occasional very serious need to clean.... I think I will forever pity anyone who thinks they want to room with me. 

Yes, the last few weeks have gone from one extreme to the other, but ya know what? I'm okay.  I can handle myself.  I wonder if I could handle everything going on right now as well as I'm doing - were I still in high school?

So in completely other news, here's something so funny you might pee your pants.

This is going to be short and to the point.  I'm currently working on an anthology submission that needs to be in ASAP.  When I grow up, when that day happens. I want to be a writer and a destination travel journalist so I can travel places and write about them, and then write my other stuff.  That's it.  Boring.  Simple.  And to the point because, well, I still need to proof my submission for the 10th time.

Yes, I really am.  I'm going to blog about stuff.

....Hmmmm, what should I say?

Well this weekend was one huge long social function.  Friday is somewhat of a blur.  I think there was tv watching and writing and hanging out with Alicia.  I think.  Like I said, Friday is somewhat fuzzy.

Saturday was one huge circus.  I was up early and drove to Cleburne to drop off a check and then to my parents house.  My sister and her boyfriend were there - which was a surprise.  We spent the day doing stuff around the house and talking.  My sister also thought it was okay to punch me.  She didn't like it when I punched back.  She didn't like it when I restrained her from escalating the situation further.  After a long, exhausting day at my family's place, I couldn't decide what to do when I left.

I knew there was a Supernatural marathon going on at my place.  I also knew I wasn't in the best mood to be social and watch a show I don't particularly like or dislike.  I made a weak effort to go do something else but wound up at my place piddling around on my laptop and listening to Supernatural and needling some of the girls  :P

Eventually I went to bed.  Only to wake up and .... they're still there! And Supernatural is still on!  LOL

Sunday is Crafty Day so that means it was just more people in and out of the apartment.  It's funny how Crafty Day has sort of.... become movie day.  We watched both Boondock Saints movies and started season 1 of Dexter.  It was a grand finish to a long weekend.

I now need to ensure that I bury myself in The Cave for several solo hours at some point or else I might turn into Evilness.  This is the problem with being both extroverted and introverted.

Okay, I'm sorry about being MIA for the last like.... 48 hours.

To sum it all up quickly: Dad is at home! Hurray!

Tuesday we thought we were going to do a meet with the cardiologist and hopefully squeeze in the test Tuesday so they could evaluate it Wednesday and if we were lucky send him home Wednesday night.  Cardiologist walks in and says that there's no reason to run the test.  They already know from his other tests what it's going to say and there's no reason wasting money and time to quadruple check.  So my mom takes him home!  It was all very exciting.

So far the new pills are working just fine.  His normal doctor yesterday said that the blood thinners are working just fine and his blood pressure is normal for when he's not on the meds - which basically is really good news, though I don't 100% understand it all right now.  Sleep deprivation and all that.

Thanks everyone who has been so supportive during this whole ordeal! It's been crazy and one heck of a wild ride.  Maybe now I'll get some sleep.... Or read a book..... Or get caught up on writing....

Hm, this one isn't so hard.  I would list off a bunch of historical places, Greece, Rome, Italy, the UK, China, Japan, South Africa, Egypt, Argentina, one of the Poles, some islands and detail all the really cool experiences I would love to do - but I think we would all do just that.

So I'm going to look at this from a different perspective.

I love books.  In fact, I like to pretend I'm a writer.  When I day-dream, I don't think about places I could fly to, I dream of the places that are cut from the things dreams are made of.  If I were going to take a Dream Vacation, well, lets list off the places I would want to visit!

Steampunk.  All that fashion!  The corsets, the parasols, the goggles!  And not to mention vampires, werewolves and ghosts!  If I could vacation in Gail Carriger's London, England I would have to take a tour of the BUR offices wearing the latest fashion of dress and sport the all important, silver tipped parasol.  After all, a lady never knows when she will need to protect herself and parasols are very handy things to have around!  Now, it probably wouldn't be allowed, but actually going into a hive or a den would be superb or even tea with the queen, hmm, how pleasant that could be!


I will probably always be something of a sucker for stories that are girl-and-her-horse.  Add in that the horse is magical and intelligent, and - take me there!  I very well might take a one-way-ticket to dream land if it meant I got to stay in Valdemar.  Seriously.  Magic.  Heralds.  Companions (the horses).  Yes, I'd wear white or gray if I had to, I really wouldn't mind - even if I would just look ever so pale.  There probably isn't a lot about the country of Valdemar that would be captivating if it weren't for the sentinels, the Heralds who are bound to their Companions to meet or see.  That I would want to see or do a stint as.  Of course they have some very colorful neighbors I would have to visit.  The tree people and the horse people of the plains are fascinating as far as people groups and would need a visitation.

Okay, so yes, it's just New Orleans, but New Orleans plus vampires?  Yes please.  It's not so much the setting as the company that would push me to go to New Orleans.  Vampires have of course been around for ages but they cannot make new vampires, until recently - oh my... I think I'd like an evening with a vampire, drink some wine, ask lots of questions, learn about history - that sort of thing.  I mean, who better to ask about history than someone who has lived it?  That and they tend to be rather handsome.  I can pick one dream vacation that's nothing but self-indulgent, right?  Shut up, you'd do it too!

Okay, so more horse-and-her-girl vacationing.  It's the desert, yes, but it's also home to these amazing horses! You ride with no bridle, so you have your hands free to do stuff, like read or swing a sword.  It's all riding with your legs and weight - which is how good riders ride anyways - but the issue is often with the horse.  It would also be neat to see the Lamprun Trials where the head of the evil old dragon made a flat tabletop so long ago, and the royal palace, which always sounded interesting to me.  The royals have a tendency for magic so why not? Magic and horses and swords? Sign me up! When am I leaving? And can I take two carry ons?



Again, set in a fairly normal, boring place - but what if the world around you were alive with gods and myths?  I'd like to take a trip to Camp Half Blood and see what it's like to train with Chiron and the others.  I have to say I'm partial to hellhounds and pegasus.  If I've ever wanted to write fan fic, it might be to appease the inner kid in me that wants to see things behind my desk or under my bed.  Give me a dream vacation spot where I can recline and drink nectar and eat ambrosia while listening to nymphs and satyrs singing and playing music?  Where I could jump in the ocean and go see an underwater city?  Who wouldn't want that sort of vacation!  It totally beats Disney World - which I actually don't remember.


Lastly, I'd want to visit the kingdom of the God King.  Tropical and colorful, there was so much about the setting that made me want to dream about living there.  A magic system that's so unknown and flexible that it bends to your will?  Much of their power comes from colors and your very Breath gives you power to animate objects and do stuff.  A very intriguing destination would be the Court of the Gods.  Where can you go in today's world and  talk to an in-the-flesh god?  I would do it for curiosity's sake.

And I've run out of steam.  There are six Dream Destinations I would visit - if they ever existed beyond my imagination.

Telemetry, which to my ears sounds like taxidermy.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need sleep, right?

I left the hospital last night and went home with the intention of going to bed. I read. you can imagine how well I am today after yet another night spent mostly not sleeping.  I apparently want to be the next person in need of medical attention.

There wasn't much change to my dad's state during the day.  A few tests were run but they were still saying that he would probably get released this evening.  Mid-afternoon I was requested to come back up to the hospital so I gathered up my work things and here I am!

Sonograms are good for things other than seeing little gray blobs that might be a baby swimming in a woman's stomach.  You can also watch blood vessels as they pump away.  There's something not right about one of the vessels that runs up the back of my dad's brain; there are two main ones back there and it's not abnormal for a person to have an underdeveloped one.  So at first they didn't think it was that big of a deal but then the doctor saw a bit of brightness.  Brightness in darkness apparently on these things is a bad thing.

In short, it looks like there is a blood clot in my dad's brain that could have caused some damage in the rest of his vessels that they previously decided was normal wear and tear. 

*Insert Cid Freaking Out Silently While Smiling As If Nothing Is Wrong*

The doctor informs us that this is not major.  That there is absolutly nothing to worry about.

Ya-huh, you just told me there's a freaking bomb in my dad's head, that's what it sounds like!

*Cid is still calm, cool and collected*

They say he doesn't necessarily even need treatment after some things they're going to do here.  However, they could put him on Coumadin.  This is something like a treatment and way of life.  I don't fully understand right now but it would make my dad something of a free-bleeder.  This sounds really bad to me. Why? Because my dad is still very active.  He rides horses, he handles cattle, he wields knives and guns and does stuff that could cause bruises or cuts to happen - which could make him bleed to death under the wrong circumstances.  Right now we're discussing what to do next.  Still have a smile on my face, things are going to be okay, but I'm a little freaked out right now.

It's 9pm and I just sat down on my couch with my last cupcake and a Dr Pepper.  I'm so exhausted I'm too tired to sleep.  In the last nine hours our plans changed completely.  Originally I was going to go home after we grabbed lunch but then we decided after hearing that since the tests were all coming back either 100% positive or inconclusive they are most likely going to be sending him home tomorrow - that there was no reason whatsoever for me to stay the night at the hospital.

While on one hand I want to be there for my dad, I also know I won't sleep at the hospital. I've had maybe an hours total sleep in the last 24 hours, most of which was done in 10-15 minute spurts when I nodded off in some superly uncomfortable position.

We were finally moved to what I call the taxidermy level, but I think it's actually called taxonomy. I don't know what that means, but it's a Level 2 - and the lower level you are the closer to getting home you become, so this is great!  We've been able to bring in pie and soup from non-hospital places for him and he's drank some Dr Pepper and was asking for a snickers.  He's even up and moving around and they cleared him to be mobile without supervision so he can get up and sit in the super comfy recliner and shower and stuff like that.  This is all really GOOD!

Everyone is exhausted, so I left a bit ago to come home and shower and sleep.  So what am I doing here? This doesn't look like sleeping to me!

I think hospitals want to discourage people from visiting.  The whole place is freezing.  The chairs are uncomfortable, and if you thought they were uncomfortable, wait until you try to sleep in them.  They're worse.

So far I slept for about fifteen minutes laying on the floor.  I put my head down on the doctors desk in my dads room and slept for another fifteen to twenty minutes.  And then I got smart and pushed chairs together in the waiting room! (The floor was too cold by this point) I've been dozing for about an hour and a half - and it is not pleasant.  I feel worse than when I tried to sleep in the first place! And super intelligent me forgot her contact case and glasses back at the apartment.  Genius I tell you!

At 8am, we know nothing more other than they want to move him to the second floor, which is called something like taxidermy, but not.  They aren't going to be stuffing my dad to get rid of his problems!  We're on the Nuro ICU floor now; they moved him here first because it's the worst-case-scenario-best-place-to-be. But he's not worst-case-scenario, he's best-case-scenario, so we get to go to taxidermy!  But not yet.  It's 8am and I'm bleary eyed and just getting the feeling back into my toes.

My mom got here around 3am and is currently sawing logs like no one's business, but she probably cycled several hundred miles yesterday so she really deserves some sleep.

10am now.  Dad is in having an MRI and MRA right now.  We have been informed that he won't be going home until Tuesday and that because of his preexisting heart condition there is some serious risk of bleeding and other heart complications.  However, he seems to be doing really great so even though there are some new concerns and stuff he's going to need to be tested and kept on watch for we're staying positive.

Noon!  We think he's had the MRI and MRA....  Just got to watch him have an ultrasound on his neck.  That was kinda cool.  Making plans for the next few days so that either my mom or I are here and making provisions so I can work from the hospital.  About to head home for more necessities and then come straight back!

Well, you can say that everything with me is an adventure.  It all happened when leaving the theater from watching How to Train your Dragon when my mother called me.  I answered the phone and just heard... well, noise.  And then I heard my mother, but she wasn't talking to me.  I assumed it was a pocket call or something, but I listened anyways just in case, and I overhear something to this affect:

"I have money! I will pay you whatever you want.  I'm on a bicycle, I need to go 30 miles in that direction.  My husband just had a stroke, and he's in Ft Worth." at this moment she realizes that I'm on the phone. "Oh - I didn't mean to call you, but dad's had a stroke, they're transferring him to Harris in Ft Worth. You need to go there now. Bye!"

.....and thus ensues a lot of chaos. Now, as soon as I heard the bit about my mom being on a bike and needing to go in "that" direction my heart was already in my throat.  If something was so bad she was going to pay someone to drive her 30 miles - 30 miles which would go towards her year-end-goal - well I knew it was serious.  By the time my mom finished and hung up on me I was running through a very busy theater parking lot in the rain and yelling at my friends to run or get left behind.  I'm such a nice friend.  I love you guys, I really do! ...but I probably would have left you and had Ryne come back for you.

My mom is in Houston and was going to do two days of long bike rides, but is now on her way home and then here to the hospital where we will pow-wow and .... hang out.

And let me pause to say that Ryne was amazing.  In the moments of me doing my own rendition of Connie and Carla's escape from the airport, he made me a to-do list as I spouted things off and made me laugh with an appearance of the Hardcore Frog.

So I got everyone to my place, dumped them off to watch Supernatural - I think?  At which point I drove like a mad-woman to Harris in Ft Worth.  My dad was probably in ER for 30 minutes before I got there, so all in all it worked out really well.  We hung out in the Er and they let him have food and sign papers and all that fun stuff.  And can I say that ER is like, the most boring place on earth?  Nothing happened - which is probably good - but we didn't even have a tv!

My Dad - TV = Super Grumpy
My Dad + TV = Grumpy

It's the small things in life.

Around midnight we got moved upstairs to ICU - I think. It might be some t-word that makes me think taxidermy.  I love my dad, but I don't want to get him stuffed, thanks!

At the moment his prognosis is that he had a stroke, but it's the kind that works its self out.  They're even talking about releasing him today, Sunday, so that's really good!  Just need to do a bunch of tests and try to determine what happened and if it's preventable, etc.  It's super scary and I'm sure that as soon as the adrenaline wears off I'll have a breakdown or pass out or something, but for now I'm wide awake and ..... might do some writing.... or just sit here and worry and fret. That too.

Okay, so it's Friday and all I can think about is the weekend. Hurray! It's here! And omg the next discs in the Avatar: Last Airbender anime are in!

Don't know what I'm talking about? That's okay. M. Night Shyamalan is making a movie from the beloved Nickelodeon series.  I'm sure you'll see enough advertisement and fan-fair about it to get excited too.
Right now I'm in the middle of Book 2: Earth, for those of you who know how the 'books' (read: seasons)
 go.  I'm slowly working my way through them.  Book 1: Air was available on Watch Instantly via Netflix ages ago and I think I spent a whole Saturday streaming them while I wrote.

I'm iffy about the movie.  I don't precisely like Shyamalan movies and that he would take something I really like and rip a bad movie out of it worries me.  And maybe I don't know yet - but who is the person in the bottom right corner in green?  That doesn't look like the Blind Bandit which is the only persistent Earth Bender besides Boomy that I know of yet.  There's already been plenty of discussion about the actors chosen.  Aang is themed around Chinese heritage, is played by either a dark Caucasian boy or a Hispanic; I forget which because honestly it's been a while since I read the articles.  Katara and Sokka, Eskimos, are played by white actors.  At least Zuko, taken heavily from Japanese influence, at first glance looks different.  Honestly I'm less worried about the color of the actors skin and more worried about their ability to play the roles.

Regardless, I'm going to curl up on the couch tonight and enjoy like, two hours of cartoons and writing with friends and friends children coming over.  It's going to be great fun.

And Zuko! I'm squealing over how this season is turning out because I really like the antagonist in this series.  He's such a great character in that he does great evil but because of how it is set up you sort of cheer for him and whatnot.  Oh well, that's enough of my rambling.

Fashion... right, okay, I can do this one!  Lets talk about Cid and fashion, since this is a timely post as I am currently attempting to wheedle down on the absurd bulk of stuff in my closet.  When I was little fashion was ~ whatever mommy picked out.  Jr high and high school it was sort of a whatever-is-different-or-not-cool phase.  In college my fashion extended to wearing the same pair of jeans and a band tshirt every day.

And then somewhere along the line I met my gay man.  That's another story in and of it's self, not for this time.  If you can believe it, shopping with guys was what finally turned me into a fashion literate person; that and watching lots of bad fashion shows when I could afford cable.

Some time ago I decided I really wanted to be rockabilly/retro kinda hot.  I mean that's Bernie-freaking-Dexter!  She does a lot of rockabilly modeling stuff.  I really like the hair, the clothes, the super retro style and everything about it.  If I could 'choose' to be a style or fashion, I would love to dress rockabilly every freaking day!  This was really what I wanted to 'be' when I graduated college and finally got a real job.  I did entertain the idea of dressing this way and even had that sort of pin-up a-la-Bettie-Paige hairstyle for a while, though mine was more red.  And then life happened.  Do you know how long it takes to style rockabilly hair?  Or how expensive and hard it is to find 'rockabilly' clothing?  It's just too much effort.  Seriously.  I'm not pretty enough to spend that much time on how I look every day.  And, to be honest, I'm not that good with putting up with uncomfortable clothing.

My idea of fashion now?  Jeans, my comfy Target jeans, and a cute/fun shirt and flat shoes.  Maybe a sweater if I don't want to get ogled as the Tattoo'd Wonder.  I love my tattoos, but they aren't exactly dressy sometimes and I like my sweaters! (apparently I own 15 of them in different colors and designs!)  The thing I'm really jonesing after, is being able to be comfortable and confident in what I'm wearing.  I don't think it matters so much what I wear anymore as much as how I feel wearing it.  Yeah, there are things I wear that I like and I think are fashionable.  I have a whole collection of headbands and jewelry I like to accessorize with, but I don't wear it if I'm not comfortable dangit!

Still not clear on what I'm talking about?  *sigh* I GUESS I'll have to communicate with pictures  :P

Starting from the feet up.  If I'm going to lust after one shoe, it'll be anything made by Naughty Monkey.  They're about $100 a pair, I have two, but they're the most comfortable shoe I've worn in my life next to converse.  Aren't these HOT shoes?


I wear a lot of jeans.  Target has hooked me on these jeans.  I think they're that Mossimo brand, they're women's and they're amazing.  Not high waisted and not the fall-off-my-butt hiphuggers, but a nice middle ground.  They do stretch so ladies, if you want that tight arse look - wash and dry often.
Spring and summer I wear dresses more frequently, and I like to show off my tattoos.  Hey!  I got'em might as well share them!  I'm developing a small collection of mostly sleeveless dresses.  I don't think I have anything strapless like this one, though I'm awfully tempted to go buy it this weekend.....
Okay, so my #1 thing to wear in the summer: tanctops!  I adore tanctops.  Okay, I don't have like, amazingly taunt arms or anything, I have a tattoo sleeve, but in Texas you just want to not be stuck wrapped up in clothing.  I especially gravitate to things like the third one which could easily have a sweater tossed over it to be considered "work appropriate" - those are always my favs.  I'm really digging this loose trend.  I've gained weight, I've never been a twig so that fashionable flowy look really appeals to me.
Speaking of sweaters, I like them either plan or patterned.  And yes, I own a gray and black leopard print sweater I love.  If you don't love it, shut up. I do! Sweaters are really great because they're versatile and useful.  I think I'm always lugging a sweater around with me.
I have a massive tshirt collection.  Seriously.  Most of them are like the one on the left; very artistic.  I hardly ever wear something like the one on the right.  I do not wear ones with like, sayings or logos on them, but I like this skull and crossbones one, because, well - it's a skull and crossbones!
This whole vest thing, totally love it!  I've bought three vests that I don't wear too terribly often, but I really like them!  They're fun and just give an outfit a little something else.

No outfit is complete in my opinion without accessories.I have two drawers in my dresser devoted to necklaces.  I have gauged ears so I don't wear normal ear rings, but necklaces I do wear!  I always love pearl anything, but I really like this sort of mix-and-match artistic thing going on like in the picture on the left.  I also like really long necklaces that dangle.
Lastly, one of my true loves ~ Loungefly bags.  I don't really stick to the whole sub-culture fashion anymore, but there's just something about a Loungefly bag that suckers me in.  I own two, both I paid a pretty penny for and if I could find this one in a store I would probably buy it and it's matching wallet too!
So there you have it.  Things Cid does not need, but wants.  I'm something of an eclectic now I think as far as fashion and clothing goes, but I'm okay with that!

Okay, so ~ I am alive. I am getting better.  There have been no more instances involving the cops and my mother.  That is a good thing.

I know I recapped the DFW Writer's Convention via my writing blog, but I thought I'd talk about the non-professional aspects over here too, since I haven't posted and well, I feel like it.  I meant to get all ready on Friday but wound up piddling around with Linda, shopping and getting lunch and stuff until mid-afternoon when there was a whole trip back and forth to Ross to return a laptop bag and dig around for another.  See, I found this perfect blue and black laptop purse, but it's made for a 15"ish laptop.  Lappy is a 17is" laptop.  Two inches.  Two friggen inches kept me from having the coolest laptop bag.  I'm upset.  I also had to just accept that most stuff is made for 15" laptops apparently!  Insert a very unhappy Cidly  :(  I did get two really nice shell-shirts to wear under sweaters for work and stuff, so that was a win!

Saturday Linda came to my place and we took Jeepie to the convention where we met up with Suzan and Criss - yea!!!  Haven't seen Criss recently since she got prego on us.  I miss her face!  I was really surprised by the lack of technology.  I assumed more of the people there would have laptops and all, but apparently our group was in the minority.  In most of the classes we were the only people clustering around outlets and taking notes on laptops.  And I'm the one in our group that brings a power-strip.  NaNoWrimo taught me well.

There was much fun to be had at my expense because I went to the romance/sex writing workshops.  This included twittering about me being in these with the con's hash-tag.  I also saw people sitting in front of me pulling up my twitter profile as SOMEONE twittered yet another silly thing at me.  Oh well.  Good thing I like to laugh at myself, right?

My amazing friend Linda got a partial request from an agent, so uber congrats and well wishes her way.  (I have yet to hear back on the short story I sent in, but I shouldn't hear back until end of next month)

Saturday night was the cocktail party in which I played dress-up with Suzan and *gasp* MADE HER WEAR A DRESS!  This included a really funny Marylin Monroe moment while Suzan took a smoke break.  We also met a really cool recent transplant to Texas who will be joining our online critiquing.  Super jazzed about this.

Sunday.... Linda and I - without talking about it - both automatically assumed that the conference would also be starting at 8am.  She showed up at my place same time as the day before - without us deciding that's what we were doing, we both just assumed the same thing!  And we arrived at the convention center... and realized our mistake!  LoL!!  I had about an hour long conversation with an author who is trying to understand twitter and so we sat on some benches and I pulled up my TweetDeck and we discussed twittering, retweeting, hash-tags, and the benefits and uses of twitter.  We also got the guy leading the twitter workshop to come over and join us and then there were four of us talking about twitter.  It was really fun.

During a session with one author, the author stopped speaking for a few moments and then asked the full room if anyone had any Claritin - allergies are really bad this year.  Well, when I'm sick and I need to be in public sans-medicine-head, I take Claritin.  Yes, it's expensive but it leaves me clear headed and functioning.  I pop'd up with the medicine and this author said she'd read my first ten pages of a manuscript and critique it.  I needed to have gotten it out last night in all honesty but I got blocked with web hosting issues on godaddy.com

So I'm excited about that!

I also hate godaddy.com  If anyone is better with internetz than I, I would love helps.  Otherwise I'm going to corner Suzan and beg her to help me, though it might not take begging, it could just take some Dr Pepper....

There were also some really nifty writerly threads available.  Sometime this week two shirts I bought will be here and I'm sure there will be pictures. I can't figure out if they have a website so I'll just have to tell you that both shirts are funny and one is semi-sexually funny, but writerly, both are girly.... yeah.

Ho-hum...  I'm rather certain I don't like staying at home.  I don't think I ever realized how little time I spend in my apartment some times until I had someone living with me.  I'm sorry world, I make a terrible roommate.

The Epic Closet Cull is .... still underway in the way that I mean there's a huge freaking pile of STUFF at the foot of my bed.

My apartment is a wreck.  Tonight will officially be Cid-cleans-stuff night; bathroom, bedroom, chin cage, dishes, trash - you're all going down!!!!!!

And my garden is officially beyond resuscitation and is dead.  Dead.  Dead.  Dead.  I'm sad.  I also don't know if I have the willpower to start over again.

I think this covers it.... yes, it should, if not, well, I'll say it next time!

Okay, so there's a perfectly logical explanation for my silence all week.  I've been sick.  I didn't really think all that bad sick, but enough that I just sort of curled up and -- didn't do a lot.  Like, I took Tuesday afternoon off - and slept.  Had the bad idea I felt well enough to go get soup with a friend.  Well, I did but I had such a bad case of medicine-head that I was a zombie.

The drama really started happening Wednesday when I woke up around 4:30 or 5am and decided I should take another dose of generic brand Nyquil stuff and go into work at lunch.  I boot up my laptop and shoot off an email to my Florida people - and curl up and go back to sleep.  I woke up hours later when I had to pee.  And after you pee - you of course need food!  It was about 10:30, so I figured it was okay if I got up.  I'm halfway through making my sandwich when - someone starts pounding on my patio door!  Now, I'm disoriented enough I don't really realize at first it's my patio and that it's not really in my head.  I finally go over and pull back the blinds - and my mother is on my patio.

Insert a moment of extreme confusion and then mild panic as I think something has happened to my father.  My mother, carrying a pair of heavy bolt cutters comes in and informs me she was about to break into my apartment.  In short order I come to find out my work never got my email.  So, they called my emergency contact - my parents.  My mom zips over from work and had been pounding on my front door for some time.  However, because my friend is crashing on my couch for the time being all the doors between me and the front door are closed - I never heard it.  I'm sure the heavy case of medicine-head played a big roll.

Not long after the cops show up and the management office at my apartment complex are calling; because the complex couldn't unlock my apartment for my mom, they instead offered to call the cops to do a wellness check.  So me with my medicine head had two cops, my mom, and the management people of my complex in my apartment explaining that I really was okay.  It was crazy.

Me? As a popstar?

The first thing I did when I seriously started pondering this Girl Talk Thursday, was laugh.  Okay, maybe it's the doses of medicine I've been consuming that are clogging up the proper ways of thinking or something, but I just saw record companies loosing money with me as the next greatest pop-star.  Why?  Because I doubt I would be easily controlled. If I had to compare myself to current pop-culture-super-stars, I would pick the following:
P!nk, Sara Hudson, and Marti Dodson from Saving Jane.  Why?  Because all three women have some seriously killer pipes and attitude.  I could never be a Lady Gaga, dressing up to just shock people, or a Brittany with her publicity stunts or a Rhianna with the crazy boyfriend. 

If I were going to be a popstar, I'd be one because people liked me, and not because I was a safe bet for the music industry.  Sara Hudson had an amazing voice, lots of talent and family in the industry, yet her solo album tanked for many reasons covered in a documentary I once saw, but what they didn't say - and what made me like her - was her attitude.  The way she just sort of flipped the world the finger and was herself.  It takes a lot of guts to be yourself.  (now, I'm not saying I support everything Sara does, don't read me like that.)  I'd want to be like that; myself in front of the world.  It might be hard, and people might be harsh, but it's too much work to create a persona in my opinion.  I'd have to be myself, and people would have to be okay with it.

P!nk had to rediscover herself.  I remember her early music and I didn't like it.  She was just another face in the music, another voice - and whatever.  However, she sort of reinvented herself some years back and - okay, I don't agree with everything P!nk does, but I do love her music and how she is - just P!nk.  See - people can make music, as themselves, and still do awesome.  I like a lot of stuff about her; her attitude, her performance ability, her voice - yeah, I guess I have a girl crush - So What????  I guess I have some of that same toughness in me.  Guess it's the tattoos.

Marti Dodson from Saving Jane I know the least about, but just listen to her music.  It's awesome I would want to write music like that.  Stuff that said something, and didn't just have a catchy tune. 

I probably wouldn't go with a different name, though I could see a band name, something ridiculous most likely.  I would have a lot of fun and I wouldn't take it too seriously.  Fads come and go; we can't all be Green Day or MxPx that somehow seems to reinvent themselves to sound current and appeal to new fans. 

Hmmm, I think my first album would be Simply Cid, and it would be ... insane.  I'd stand for something, have lyrics that made you cry, all while wearing jeans and being barefoot.  Yup, sounds about right for me.

Okay, so this is mostly just pictures to show you the different grouping of clothing going on here.  And yes, this is mostly just for my amusement.

There's a lot going on in this picture.  Starting on the far right, and furthest from the camera are work jackets.  Below that are "nice" capris.  Next to that are work pants.  The huge pile of shirts are all button up shirts.  Next to that are suit-sets.  Above that are skirts.
Okay, from left to right.  Dresses on both sides of the door.  Below that are vests.  Along the dresser are sweaters/cardigans.  And you can just barely see my small collection of shrugs.  And yes, that is a pile of jeans.
Left to right.  Jeans.  Capris.  Khakis.  And jean shorts.
My band t-shirts, which will not be included in the total number of things involved in the cull.  These are irreplaceable and were a major part of my college life.  I'm thinking about making a quilt out of some of these.
Things with long sleeves!
These are my memorabilia shirts.  Most of them are either Maverics or Stars, considering how long I worked for them.  Included are my roller derby shirts and a Rangers shirt.
The left half are graphic t's, and tshirts and stuff.  The right half are shirts I can wear to work, most of them need a cardigan or sweater over them.  I probably won't get rid of much from this section, to be honest.
This would be my collection of jackets and hoodies.  I can get rid of several of these and not be too upset, I think.

And that's it so far.  At a preliminary count I'm up to 336 articles of clothing in my closet.  This does not include what's in the wash or in the dresser - yet. 

I think the answer to this question has changed a lot over time.  For my own entertainment, I think I'm going to do a review of my life in answer to this question.

When I was in high school...

• ....it was converse.  
• I hardly ever dressed up.  I didn't like to.  I rarely did.  
• Most of the time I wore jeans and tshirts or ... something strange.  
• But I always wore make-up.

In college it didn't change much.  

• I rolled out of bed and put on my jeans, my converse, but most importantly my band tshirt.  In college (and even now) I owned a huge collection and wearing them made me feel super awesome.  Why?  Because I could always identify the other people of my personal little music club by peoples reactions to what I was wearing or if they were a poser or for real.  I also really liked looking like I could have been on tour with a band; later on I really did.  
• A few times I would dress up, but the instances were rare and only for special purposes - which I always tried to down-play.  
• I still never went a day without make-up.

As an adult *shudders* it's changed.  

• Now, I feel awesome by just being in my own skin.  I have freaking awesome tattoos, that I love.  I like that by just being me, I am art.  And I'll admit, even though I did not intend for this to happen, I like the way people give me space when I'm showing a lot of tattoo'd flesh.  It's like an instant intimidation factor; it also lets me know pretty easily whether or not a person (read guy) can handle my personality.  
• I accessorize a lot; from my 00 diamond-like gauges to the collection of necklaces that fills an entire drawer in my dresser - I love accessories.  
• Jeans are still my #1 pick in the morning.  I've discovered a target brand of jean that fits awesome, and is comfortable.  
• Slimming shirts that um, accentuate and hide are always favorites.  
• I wear heels sometimes, and when I do they're usually awesome; I buy Naughy Monkey heels for a reason.  Not only are they fun, funky and sexy - but they're comfortable.  I've been on a date before and had to stand around for an hour and was no worse for being in heels.
• My hair.  I like my hair.  I get fun cuts and colors and I love it.
• I still don't go a day without make-up....

So maybe my things haven't changed much.  I don't know that I try to feel sexy...  It's a little weird for me, but I do go for feeling awesome about myself.  Oddly, yes, tattoos have made me love my body more for just who I am because it's unique and colorful thanks to the tattoos.

Okay, so I have a really big closet.  I also have a lot of clothes.  Said large closet is full of enough stuff I have quite literally lost count of exactly what it is I own.  I decided back in December when I set goals for this year that I wanted to cull the contents of my closet/dresser by 10% and that I would make use of a holiday weekend to complete this project.

April 1st - today - is the launching of said Epic Closet Cull.

I have a spread sheet that I have color coded and printed out to help me tally up how many articles of different types of clothing I have.  Yes, I really have!  What?  You think I'm joking?  Pft - here's proof!!

Seriously.  My ideal time-line will be:

• Thursday Night: Organize closet into groupings of clothes.  If possible, start on Dresser.
• Friday: Tackle the Dresser!  Start on the closet, hopefully get half done.
• Saturday afternoon: Get the second half of the closet done.
• Sunday: Say goodbye to 10% of my clothes, maybe more.

I'll probably be twittering a lot of pictures asking opinions on keeping or tossing stuff and posting lots of pictures.  I also plan on finding stuff I've long since forgotten about!

Wish me luck tonight.